……..about
ten years later, accidently finding an old email, madness of life….
Hi Vera,
Please, read this email.
I always think about you and I
try to wonder what you are doing. Is she fine? I really hope so. Sometimes, I
like to read about your country to remember you. I love hearing the songs
Miyatta-Veruvam vo sebe, she is perfect, she sings very well. I also
love GJOKO TANESKI - Zbogum Najmila, he is just “feelingful”. I also like Dani
Dimitrovska – Najdobra. There is much more, but, this is not the place.
Your “people” seems to be as wonderful as you are. You left too much
great things in my life that I REFUSE to leave you in the past, let you go as a
dust in the wind.
I do understand your disappointment with me. I remember everything and I know
my mistakes. Now I cannot forget, I wrote everything in a “book”, called Science.
love and the eternal quest for truth. The day you left, I am really sorry I
did not say good bye, I would not like to see you leaving, to see you walking
away.
I think, you as a human, suppose to understand that we make mistakes all the
times looking for the best and that many of the things that the others go
beyond our comprehension. Forgive and always give a second change is the best
we can do and the only that really makes sense. “Life might destroy me as an
old piece of wood, but as an old piece of wood, I will always reborn”. You
were my first girl. I told you so. Bearing in mind that everything for me was
new. The opportunity to study abroad, something that was out of my thoughts. I
had the plan to study abroad, but I thought that this opportunity would come
just after the doctorial, not so fast! I had already given up finding a nice
girl, when you appeared in my life. Each moment that I lived with you was
completely new for me. Complete new world. You always by my side, even in the
class, was a childhood dream. I used to say that my biggest dream was to
receive a letter of love, but after you, I do not remember it anymore. You also
took away many of the ghosts that had been haunting me for times. Then, do you
expect me to do everything right at first sight? Once you told me that you
dream was to live something beyond the material life. It is quite beautiful and
I also had been dreaming that when I met you. Why do you think that I love to
write? This is a way that I found to create a new world in my mind. If reality
does not fit my expectation, build a new reality!
I remember everything about you. When you told me the joke of the ice-cream.
This is just fun when you say. I tried to say this joke for another friend,
but it just had made me sad to remember of you. I could talk for hours about
you, but I will leave you to decide if you want or not answer me.
I thought many time to forget and let you go, once you will never see each other
again, but you are too much just to let you go. I am not asking you to be my
girlfriend, just to be my friend. I know about your life and I will never do
anything to mess up your life, just to help if I can. Answer my email and let
me know about your life. I do not care about what you have told me that you are
not the person I had thought you were. The only thing that really matters
to me is how I see you and how much you had taught me without a stupid
chalk.
The password of my email is traj@/ska. The password of others stuff of mine
is trajkovska. As you see, you are inside my life.
I feel no regret for what happened. I took the decisions that made more sense
for me according to my previous experience. As a human, I am always learning
and making mistakes. Life is an eternal classroom. We are always students in
this game.
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